A Concluding Thought

I really like how Professor Liberman ended his manuscript. He states that human beings are all important to each other and we were not meant to live in isolation from one another. It makes me wonder how there are people out there that don’t agree with such thoughts, or are racist, sexist, oppose same sex marriage, etc. We are all on this earth together and we should start acting like a society created equal. If everyone lived their days like it was their last, genuinely cared about and wanted to help others the world would be a much better place. However I am not that naïve and realize that it may never be this way. All I can hope for is to raise a family like my parents did, a family that is respectful, communicates and wants to help others. I also hope that I have the change to care for my parents until the end and get to use the information I have gained from reading Professor Liberman’s manuscript. I know the journey is going to be filled with plenty of ups and downs, as it already has been. I hope when life is all said and done that I have raised half the family that my parents managed to and that my kids have the same courtesy I did with being able to meet and love both my sets of grandparents. I don’t take a second of it for granted because I have met so many that didn’t even get the chance to meet some of their relatives, some being their own parents. I also hope that my kids and their kids have a chance to raise their families in a time where humans are a little less cruel to each other and have learned how to care and respect for one another, regardless of sex, race, or sexual preference.

Recommendation #3

I can already tell that one of the biggest challenges I’ll face when helping my aging parents is giving them the proper space I’m sure they’ll want. Like Professor Liberman said, “One of the greatest frustrations of an aging parent is the loss of mobility and the freedom to do what they want when they want to do it.” Both of my parents are extremely stubborn people and I can already tell my brothers and I are in for a treat when dealing with them in their older age. Unlike my mom, my dad would rather be out on the golf course or working out all day rather than sitting around the couch and reading all day. My mother on the other hand is completely ok with knocking out 2 to 3 books a week on the couch. I know that if or when my dad loses that ability to golf and work out every day, we’re all in for some trouble. I can see myself being so worried for his sake due to his inability to do what he loves and suffocating him with my presence and my trying to help. It’s good to hear it now that I shouldn’t do so and I should still leave some of the basic functions of life to him to accomplish if he can do so. Another thing that might pose a problem with their increasing age is the fact that my brothers and I will have to do things for them. My parents are the kind of people that like to do or figure things out themselves. Even nowadays when we are learning a new board game as a family or they’re trying to figure out a new function on a piece of technology, they would rather figure out the directions on their own and relay them to everyone else instead of asking for help. So I wonder how they will handle it if/when they lose that ability to figure out and do things on their own and rely on my brothers and me for help. But like Professor Liberman said, it is important to give them their space if they want it and can continue to do so on their own.

Death and Dying

Death and dying is a sensitive subject for most and it is more frequently talked about at my family dinners than most would be comfortable with. I myself am not a religious person at all nor are my two brothers and I suppose my non-religious parents are to blame. We don’t attend church regularly, mostly because my parents believe as long as they lead a noble and good life surrounded by friends and family that they are living a good life; a notion they have undoubtedly passed down to me. But it is this same lack of religion that makes us debate time to time on what happens when a human being passes. Although no obvious conclusion is ever met, we as a family do agree on the same thing every time. Lead a good life, make people happy, help others and do the right thing (or the wright thing in our family). It is these notions that have pushed me to pursue a career in health care; I want to help people. I know that might make you think I only want the career to fulfill my feeling of self-righteousness or to feel worthy but you would be totally wrong. This was just the way I was raised whether there is a god overhead watching my moves or not. We are all on this planet together and I think we should all care for one another and the way I hope to do so is through the field of healthcare. It makes me realize that what happens when we die isn’t all that important, it’s what we do while we are alive that counts. When Professor Liberman wrote about speaking to his son about coming to visit his grandma one last time I could definitely relate. I lost my grandfather about a year ago and my dad had to deliver a similar phone call to me. I listened and got the chance to see my grandpa one last time before he passed the day I left for Orlando to return for school. No matter what you believe happens when you die or how you feel about it, when you experience a loss that close it hits you, and hits you hard. I can’t stress enough how important it is to stay close with and communicate with your loved ones.

Chapter Two

I like how in the beginning of chapter two Professor Liberman says that it’s not really the formal education we receive while growing up that guides us when dealing with an aging parent, but the life experiences and lessons we obtain that do. Book smarts will only get you so far in the way of social interaction and coping with the aging of your parents. Most of these skills are gained through the experiences you share with your family, being open and communicating often. I believe the more open you are with your family, the easier it will be to sit down and communicate about the darker, more serious subjects that occur with aging. The first recommendation is one I personally need to focus on. When I become faced with the emotions anger, frustration or fear I often times fall back into a shell and ask questions to no end, and these are certainly emotions I will be surrounded by when dealing with my own aging parents. Whether I myself am feeling these emotions or my parents are I need to find a more effective and empathetic way to deal with them other than asking questions. This recommendation goes hand in hand with the next, to listen carefully to your parents when they are speaking to you. As our parents age the frequency with which they ramble and mumble will increase. It is still important to listen to and respect their wishes. Sometimes it’s as easy as asking what you can do to help out, or just telling them that you want to help. In my opinion it all comes back to communication, which could be considered my foundation for my relationships. It is important to maintain a high level of communication with your parents, especially in their older age so it is clear between both of you what is expected and wanted. If you cannot simply communicate with your loved ones, what CAN you do to help?

Chapter One

It’s funny reflecting back to all the things our parents made us do as children and now realizing that there was purpose behind it after all. It’s almost as if we assumed they had no idea what they were doing, when in fact they knew exactly what they were doing and why they were doing it. But that is the nature of children; to argue and retaliate against parents to no end, always thinking they are right, when all the parents are trying to do is set the framework for what will be their future. It is the job of the parents to guide us, label right and wrong, promote or refute our behaviors or interests when all we want to do is run around outside or play with our toys. I remember a time when my dad had to force me to try out for a baseball team because I wouldn’t on my own (even though I loved playing baseball). At the time all I could think is, “Why is he forcing me to do something I don’t want to do?” Now in my older age I realize that how can you know you don’t like or don’t want to do something until you’ve tried it once? It reminds me of quote from Babe Ruth; never let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game. I think this quote speaks volumes even outside the realm of baseball, you can’t know if you don’t want to do something if you haven’t tried. As children we have no idea what we want or what is good or bad for us and it is up to our parents to set the rules and guidelines for us to follow, guidelines that will certainly pop up again in the future as exemplified by Professor Liberman. Contrary to our beliefs our parents DO know what they are doing (most of the time) and it is their work that we base our life and future off.